thm

to be honest i just really want a social life, or possibly. more than that? i cry for attention. i need attention. i want people to be interested in me, to like me, to want to see me, to like being around me or like knowing what i think. i want to be someone who makes an impression on people. a good one!

there’s so much i want to do, or rather, i wanted to do. but i’ve let fear run my life and i still do. this isn’t some inspiration speech about how i’m going to move past that and i’m ready to dive head first into everything i wanted to do. no, i’m still too terrified, i’m still convinced i. can’t. do. it.

i wanted to do more in theatre, i wanted to audition for musicals, plays, and anything and everything else of the sort. i wanted to join the debate team, join the computer science team and go to meets. i wanted to start a youtube channel and do cool little things that i may get like 20 subscribers for. i wanted to actually be tumblr popular. i wanted people to pay attention to me and i still do want that.

but who am i? i’m kisa, i’m seventeen, i attend a high school in north texas that’s way too interested in their football team, i’m the youngest child in my family, i like sleeping all day and crying all night, i like ice cream, i watch a lot of anime, i;m not interesting.

i’m not interesting, i’m not worth anyone’s time. no one would ever pay attention to me, i can’t achieve any of the things i listed. guess what? i can’t even get my followers to ask me questions. that’s not even a big deal i guess. it’s just something that boosts my self worth for whatever stupid fucking reason.

i want to feel like i’m somebody to this world and honestly i feel pretty fucking invisible to everyone.

  1. akanie said: You are worth peoples time some people may not see that now but some others see that you worth time. You are precious don’t ever forget that. You may feel invisible now but good things happen to those who wait. Not everything can happen at once.
  2. komakyuun-blog posted this